GOING AGAINST THE NORM- THE UNEXPLAINED HAPPINESS

What would happen if we decide to go against the norm? We live in a world where we mostly concur with anything that was stated from the early days and we live by it. Let’s take a simple example on the alphabets, we know that the first alphabet is “A”. We found it as it is and we all agreed to that. But, what if the first alphabet was to be “M”. Sure, we could all go by it, because it is what we were taught and grew up beliveing. That is the same case for any other word, or process. 

We all tend to go by what we grew up knowing and stuck to it. Though, have we ever thought about, what if we look at certain things from another angle on the periscope? I will pose a question to You. What would happen if you decided to give your own view about something, that was already given in another perspective and implanted in people’s minds?

So, I have been thinking on the word HAPPINESS lately. I have been doing my own research on it’s meaning and how people perceive happiness in their lives.

I could say, most of us have always had the same view on happiness. But before I get to that, the dictionary definition of happiness is; a state of being happy, contentment and a state of well-being. According to psychology, it defines happiness as; life’s experience marked by a preponderance of positive emotion.

I totally agree with all the definitions given above. Though, that is in theory. Mostly, we tend to find ourselves defining happiness according to things we have, the close relations with people, our family, our work, anything that makes us happy. This in general tends to leave our definition of happiness as, the joy and contentment or fulfilment we get from attributes that we have attached the name tag for our happiness.

You might be wondering what am referring to here, many of us tend to find ourselves feeling very happy when we are close to family, friends, partners ( any loved one in your life), when we have money, when we are out partying or swimming or doing some mountain climbing, I can write a whole list of where and how we have attached our happiness tag. Though that’s for another day.

The problem then arises when we have none of this. This is when all hell breaks lose and we change our smiles into frowns. Our favourite smiley emoji turns and becomes the frown emoji or even the tear-like emoji face. We feel broken, helpless and not at peace with our inner self.

Let’s say, we find happiness from being appreciated and told that the work we did was good. That is great and everyone should be appreciated.  But, what happens when that one person who always applauds your work, doesn’t do it for a day. We tend to feel that we didn’t do anything good and keep wondering what was wrong with this current project that wasn’t applauded? We stress ourselves up and keep lamenting whereas the project was among the best presented. That will be our mood, low key and unhappy until someone else comes and appreciates our work and that’s when you see value in your work and tend to become happy again.

We find ourselves in such situations and we cannot do anything because we have attached our happiness to the applaud or to someone and we will always expect them to do something so that we are happy. Otherwise, our mood becomes low.

Back to what I have been thinking about. All that I have mentioned above was part of the thoughts that I had. We attach happiness to love, success, wealth, partying name it all.

I have precisely been thinking about one phrase that we hear each time and it relates to all that we attach our happiness to.  It is said that people have the key to our happiness, which this days has also been attributed to the items and wealth we have. Well, I disagree with this point. ( I know you didn’t expect that) Here is the reason behind my opinion.

As i kept on thinking and doing my research, several questions kept popping up in my mind. My questions were; What if I have control over the key? What if, I am the one to have the key to my happiness and not attach it to anything?

I decided to do a self-test, where I took control of my own key. You control the key. I would say, it was a successful test, reason is because,  you hardly get angry or have your moods alternating from low key to angry or pissed off whenever, what previously used to give you happiness is not there or an experience didn’t occur as you wanted it to.

The benefits were immense. You find peace from within and you worry less. This has been very beneficial because you got your own happiness key and you are the only person controlling whether to open the key for a certain feeling to get in or not. You control whether to let in sadness, anger to take over your happiness or lock them out using the key you have.

Unlike where the key happens to be attached with others or to objects or to an experience whereby if one decides to let you be unhappy, they simply open the way for unhappiness to get in and then overrule your happiness. This is the point where we got no control of our joy.

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How Did I do It?

1. Being positive minded- Optimism is the key to your own happiness
2. Being silent when tempers are on the rise- This helps prevent unhappiness and reduce inner pain.
3. Being prayerful. God is the ultimate key to anything on earth.
4. Engage in constructive talk with family and friends.
5. Do not allow anyone to put you down. Let your key ever be locked when negative comments are coming your way.
6. Being busy. This helps excessively as you are able to get rid of anything that causes sadness or a low mood.
7. Always keeping up to your word on owning your key to happiness. Once you get distracted and allow yourself to hand over the key to others, you will never fulfil your ultimate happiness in life.

Your question to me would then be, What if he/she is my happiness? What if my work is my happiness? What if having a good flow of cash is my happiness? The answer is that, I do agree with the fact that all that could be your source of happiness, be it your friends, partners, loved ones, flow of cash or your work. But, we never know what the world has in store for us, at one time, you might not have some good cash flow, you might be suspended from work, your loved ones might disappoint you, your partners might not be there for you. Then, what next? Should we allow all this factors to put us down and bring sadness in our lives and reduce our productivity in doing other things?

NO, we shouldn’t, because it will only limit our growth. So, take up the challenge and have control over your own happiness key.

It can be quite challenging especially at the beginning but once you have the mindset of having your own key you will find your positive energy rising and caring more about self-improvement bringing more positive results.

STRESS AND ANXIETY RELIEVE BOOSTERS

I would urge everyone to take sometime and decide to have the key to their own happiness and not to go by the set mindset where others are the key to your happiness. I recommend one of my best Books here.It helps in personal growth and impacts greatly in life.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR OWN KEY TO HAPPINESS

If you loved this piece and want to try out having control over your own happiness key, leave your comment below, share and subscribe using the signup form on the top left corner to get more of this directly to your email.

Comment on your thoughts pertaining to happiness as a whole.

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